What Might Kill Us(9)By: M.N. Forgy
One, don’t touch another man’s bike.
Two, don’t touch another man’s gun.
It’s that simple.
“We’ve been doing this for years, Bull, so how’s it going to go? The easy way, or the hard way?” Shadow asks, keeping completely calm as he grabs my drink and takes a sip. Biting my bottom lip in thought, I close my eyes. A feisty redhead full of curves flashes behind them, a woman that once made my colorful life not seem so dull.
I tear my lids open and inhale a shaky breath.
He’s right, we do. Every year without fail. Today is Babs’ birthday and it never gets easier. Babs wasn’t my old lady, but she should’ve been. I should’ve torn her away from this world and ran away with her.
But she didn’t belong to me. She was my old vice president’s property.
I wanted her from the moment I saw her, so I made her mine in the only other way I knew how.
In doing so I broke club law, yet I didn’t give a fuck. I slept with her behind another member’s back.
That curvy ginger got to me and I can’t for the life of me forget her. I loved my life before Babs. I had money, respect, my club, and women coming at me from every corner. But then Babs walked into my life and I realized I hadn’t really been living at all. That none of it was worth shit without a woman by my side. I ended up falling in love with a woman that wasn’t mine, and that bitch karma made me pay the price by taking her from me.
A pat on my back takes me from my hell and I find Shadow urging me toward the doors.
“Come on, let’s get you home. If Dani found you like this, she’d lose it,” Shadow informs.
I freeze. The look in Shadow’s eyes hitting me the wrong way. He used to look up to me, fear me, and respect me. Now all I see when I look in his eyes is sympathy. He feels sorry for me and I hate that feeling.
Nobody should feel sorry for me. I deserve this anguish.
I pull from his grip and harden my stance, my hands balling into fists.
“Fuck you, Shadow. I’m fine, I don’t need your help,” I bark, shoving him off. I puff my chest out, ready to beat his ass. I’m not a vulnerable guy, I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve, and I sure as hell don’t need my son-in-law to fucking babysit me.
His face goes red, his head lowering.
“Fine? You think this is fine?” He points at me. “You’re a fucking mess, Bull. You have been since Babs passed away.” He turns away from me, shaking his head. He’s never been one to let anything slide. A straight shooter and I respect him all the more for it. “You need to step the fuck back and find where it is you’re going, and what you want, brother.”
I step forward, getting in his face. He snaps his cold blue eyes in my direction.
“This club is what I want. I gave EVERYTHING for this club. Yet when I sit at the end of that goddamn table I feel like something is missing. Don’t you think I’m trying to find that something, son?” I ask bluntly. “Do you not think I’m tryin’ to set myself straight?” I tap my head, the place where my demons taunt and terrorize me. “I’d do anything to be me again.”
Shadow sucks his bottom lip into his mouth before shaking his head with a small smirk fitting his face.
“Then maybe it’s time you step away from the gavel, Bull. Because whatever you’re looking for, it ain’t here, brother.”
My eyes widen and I’m not sure if it’s from his tone or the fact that he might be right.
“Over my dead fucking body,” I say grimly and push past him to step outside, the sun hot and blaring in the sky.
Looking over my shoulder I find Shadow talking to the bartender and paying off my tab.
The sound of screeching tires around the bend catch my attention, a young Mexican woman running for her life is about a block away. Her dark hair flings back and forth behind her. Her face red and sketched in nothing but pure terror as she sprints across the sidewalk. She’s wearing a dirty pink dress and no shoes, her feet biting into the pavement so fast it looks as if she’s flying rather than running.
I furrow my brows in concern, and as she nears her eyes widen with a sense of relief when she notices me.
She smacks right into me, her hands clawing at my leather vest. Her whiskey colored eyes staring at me like I’m her fucking lifeline.